Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
