My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
