Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
