Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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