Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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