My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
