we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
