Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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