I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
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