You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
