I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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