Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
