Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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