I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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