I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
