Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
