halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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