RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
