he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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