I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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