The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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