Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Damn victory sex feels great
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
