I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
