so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
