$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry about my life...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
