hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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