People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
