I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
