i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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