how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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