what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
