Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
