Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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