If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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