his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
