I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
