u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
