Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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