why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
