He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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