Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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