those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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