and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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