Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
