Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
