He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
where are my eyebrows?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
