4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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