i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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