i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
