pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
